by Brie Barker | Leadership Development
We all know the adage, “There is no ‘I’ in ‘Team’.” Actually, there are times when the ‘I’ needs to be embraced in order to get the most out of the team.
I was working with a client this past fall — we’ll call her Josée — who felt at a loss on how to better engage one of her staff members — we’ll call her Anita.
Josée manages a team of about 15 people. Josée’s a very energetic and social person and she places a great value on teamwork. She believes team productivity comes from working collaboratively and spending quality social time together. Josée said that every one of her staff members embraced her approach; every one, that is, except Anita.
Josée said that Anita had never really fit in with the rest of the group. She actively resisted working collaboratively, preferring to work on her own, and her going out with the gang for lunch or after work happened only once in a blue moon. And, lately, these things had intensified to a point where Josée felt it was having an increasingly negative effect on the whole team, dragging down morale, with gossip eating away at productivity.
Josée said she tried everything she could think of to get Anita more engaged but nothing had been working.
What Josée hadn’t considered, was that there is, indeed, a place for “I” in “Team”.
Without intent or malice, Josée was actually making the whole situation worse.
Anita was only a problem because Josée was judging her through her own filter and not honouring the way that Anita is naturally wired:
⇒ Josée prefers working with people, Anita prefers working alone.
⇒ Josée is an open book regarding her personal life, Anita prefers privacy.
⇒ Josée likes to socialize after hours, Anita just wants to get home to her family.
The more Josée pressed Anita to open up, socialize and work in active collaboration with her colleagues, the more Anita withdrew, the more the gossip kicked in and, as was happening, the more it was effecting Anita’s ability to do her job well. If Josée didn’t change her ways, it probably wouldn’t been long before Anita just quit.
To be an effective manager, one has to recognize and accept the way people are wired and find a way to honour their strengths and put them in a role that plays to those strengths as much as possible.
Josée needs to:
⇒ respect Anita’s desire for privacy,
⇒ find as many ways as possible for Anita to work independently, and
⇒ publicly value Anita’s output as a positive contribution to the team.
When it’s leveraged in positive and productive ways,
there certainly is a valuable place for “I” in “Team.”
Have a productive and enjoyable day.
by Brie Barker | Leadership Development
Mr. Spock may seem like an odd source of wisdom regarding effective workplace relationships. After all, what could we possibly learn about such relationships between actual human beings from this logical, non-emotional, alien character from Star Trek? Well, quite a bit, actually.
I was certainly wistful at the death of actor Leonard Nimoy last week. I’ve always enjoyed the various incarnations of Star Trek. From the original series of the 1960s to as recently as the 2013 film, Star Trek: Into Darkness, Nimoy’s Mr. Spock just kept showing up, which was fine with me. He was such a great character.
The various Star Trek writers certainly used Mr. Spock as a vehicle for ruminating on what it means to be human, and I’m happy to share my thoughts with you on what I think we can glean from him regarding human relationships in the workplace.
To begin with, Capt. Kirk and Mr. Spock made a great leadership team. Spock’s logic and measured, unemotional reasoning was balanced by Kirk’s gut instinct and quick, decisive action. Today’s manager/leader needs to be able to access their inner Kirk and inner Spock, to adapt their behaviour according to the circumstance and what is required to move a particular crew member to take confident action. A productive workplace relationship comes from knowing how you need to communicate with that specific person in order for you to be understood, i.e. how you need to frame what it is you want them to understand in order for them to receive it fully, openly and without resistance.
One quote of Spock’s is, “Insults are effective only where emotion is present.” With humans, emotion is always present. Given that, it’s a fair parallel to draw that one has to be aware of what their emotional triggers are and be able to consciously move them aside so they can stay present to the other person and not let their emotion hijack the conversation.
I’d argue that Spock, himself, is emotionally intelligent in that he is aware of how his lack of emotion may effect others. Spock tells Kirk, “If I seem insensitive to what you’re going through, Captain, understand — it’s the way I am.” Being able to explain to co-workers how you tend to process information and communicate can go a long way in avoiding misunderstandings. Instead of being a sealed-off room that your colleagues don’t know how to get into, give them the key that allows them to open the door and communicate effectively with you.
There’s a lot more, I believe, but I’ll turn it over to you …
Leave a comment: What quote of Spock’s do you think relates to workplace relationships and why?
In the meantime, “Live long and prosper.”
by Brie Barker | Leadership Development
Remember the premise for this series of posts: the quicker you’re able to identify and adapt to someone’s communication style, the better you’ll be able to get that relationship off to a good start right out of the gate. This is also particularly relevant if the relationship, by its nature, is a brief and important one.
This week, I’m going to give you a high level look at the “S” dimension of the DISC model of behavioural styles, known as the Steady style.
People who rank high in the “S” component exhibit more passive behaviour (as opposed to active) and are more people oriented (as opposed to task oriented).
General Attributes:
- Good listener
- Team player
- Supportive
- Stable
- Predictable
- Friendly
- Understanding
Key Observable Characteristics:
- Verbal – listens more than talks, reserves opinions
- Vocal – steady and even delivery, lower volume, slower rate of speech, less forceful tone
- Visual – exhibits patience, gentle handshake, intermittent eye contact, slower body language
Behaviour When Under Stress:
- Submissive and indecisive
How to Communicate with Them Effectively:
Dos
- Be non-threatening
- Express genuine interest and appreciations
- Be patient
- Give time to adjust to change
- Ask about emotional needs
- Answer “how” questions
- Clearly define goals, procedures and their role
Don’ts
- Don’t be pushy or aggressive
- Don’t be demanding
- Don’t be confrontational
- Don’t rush them
Try putting these things into practice. Share your success stories by leaving comments!
Have an enjoyable and productive day.
